Month: October 2014


Oct
2014

Halloween After A Child Has Died

categories: memories, Time, traditions
debra reagan

Debra Reagan

www.clint-reagan.memory-of.comClint Reagan standing in a corn maze with a pumpkin in the background

This article was originally published on October 14, 2008, in www.opentohope.com, a website whose mission is to help those who have suffered a loss to cope with their pain and invest in the future.

When the first Halloween arrived soon after our son’s death, I could hardly bear to think of it. Clint loved fall and Halloween. He took such joy in the season: football games, corn mazes, haunted houses and parties. It almost felt like a betrayal of sorts for me to hate the season now, but I couldn’t help it. In the beginning, everything about it brought me pain.

(more…)


Oct
2014

An Anniversary Happening

categories: Journey
julie mcgregor

Julie McGregor

Bereaved mother with a butterfly on her shoulder as a signLast week was my son Joel’s 5th anniversary and we had a small gathering of family and friends at the private memorial garden where Joel was laid to rest. We included a butterfly release as part of the day and it was wonderful. We released 12 butterflies and while most flew off straight away, a couple stayed around on the bushes and one stayed on the box I was holding for a long time.

(more…)


Oct
2014

Letter to Joel

categories: Feelings, memories
julie mcgregor

Julie McGregor

Joel, it’s four years and three months since that unbelievable day you left us. Unbelievable, but I have to believe it, because it happened. Where has the time gone?  Sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago, and other times it feels like yesterday.

(more…)


Oct
2014

Anniversary Reflections and Experiences

categories: memories, murder, signs
tracy bradshaw

Tracy Bradshaw

Well, call me crazy, but I’m on the other side of that dreaded day.  I unlocked the fire safe box that holds Sawyer’s ashes and found a little stuffed penguin I had put in there at Christmas, which I had forgotten.  He loved penguins, and Christmas always had several once he let me know his favorite ornament was a penguin I had given him.  I picked up the baby blanket wrapped box and made my way to the living room to get Curious George.  Then on the back-porch I unwrapped the box and opened the lid. With sad eyes I looked at and touched the clear plastic bag of ashes.  I cried as memories of that horrible day flooded my mind and my heart.

(more…)


Oct
2014

Grief: My Five Year Journey

categories: Journey
sacha cueto

Sacha Cueto

mother and sonI was asked to write a story about my personal grief journey.  It took me a while because I realized this is not something I openly discuss with people other than my husband/best friend who is riding this same roller coaster with me.  An emotion I often push down inside of me on most days.  Perhaps sharing my story will help others who are on this same journey.  After all, everyone in life will experience grief in their lifetime.  It is inevitable, though it’s not easy – parents die, grandparents die, but kids….your kids are not supposed to die before you.  That is not the natural order.  The grief experienced by the loss of your child, the loss of their future, the loss of your life plans you had for your family, is a very, very different kind of loss, one that cannot be compared to any other loss.  I have chosen to share my story and my journey (so far) with you.

(more…)


Oct
2014

Signs on the Beach

categories: beach, signs
debra reagan

Debra Reagan

Alan and I made a trip to the same beach where we had taken many family vacations with our sons.  On the third day while we were sitting and gazing upon the waves hitting the beach, I became filled with thoughts of our deceased son, Clint.  I didn’t say anything to Alan about my thoughts, but I did ask him if he ever wished we could turn back time.

(more…)