This poem was originally published on www.thegriefblog.com, which is a part of The Open to Hope Foundation network, a website whose mission is to help those who have suffered a loss to cope with their pain and invest in the future.
Lana Golembeski
December 10, 2008
Dear God;
I sit and wonder “why?”
I ask you all the time.
When I was younger
All I wanted was to have children,
A houseful!
But you said “no”.
When I got into my twenties
I asked you for a child.
But you said “no”.
But you finally said that I could have one.
You gave me the most precious angel of all.
She was blonde and beautiful,
With her golden curls.
She hugged and cuddled
As we rocked and rocked.
She adored me; followed me everywhere.
I told you that if I could only have ONE child
THIS one was the one I wanted.
I prayed again and again for one more child,
But you said “no”.
I tried so hard for more children.
I suffered many surgeries.
And you said “no”.
So, I agreed to your plan:
No more children…just love the one
I had with all my heart and she will please me.
That she did!
And I loved her with all my heart and soul.
And you sent me many other children
For me to care for and to love.
And that I did.
I prayed for grandchildren
And you said “no”.
And then you took away
My only child.
And I prayed “why?”
All I ever wanted was a lot of children
And grandchildren,
And you said “no”.
I sit and wonder why.
I wish I had the answer.
I wish you were not so silent.
I wish you would tell me all the secrets
So that I can understand Your ways.
And you took away other children for senseless reasons
And again I ask you “why?”
So, tonight, God, I pray for all of those moms
Who lost their precious children.
And I pray for peace to accept your will
And to stop asking “why?”
God, will you please hold my hand
And tell me again and again
That everything will be okay?
