Category: bereaved


Apr
2019

Kyle

categories: bereaved, Connections, Grief journey, loss, relationships

Deb Moroney

Just got off the phone with an old friend that we lost connection with many years ago. Living miles apart and each of us raising our families plus just life in general one never thinks about how important friendship really is. Upon responding to my friend’s text message from earlier today I decided to just call her and see what it was she needed to know about some things here in Tennessee. After the usual “Oh my God, how long has it been!” introduction she casually asked how I was doing. I never thought anything about this question until the next one. She then asked “So what is Kyle doing now?” I know it seemed like forever before I answered but it caught me off guard. I heartbreakingly told her what had happened to Kyle 22 months ago. At first it takes you back to the first day when all you can think about is the accident and trying to understand what has happened. My friend was shell shocked to say the least! She felt horrible for not knowing about our loss but I tried to reassure her that it was okay because not everyone is up on social media even today. I’ve always believed that the more I talk to others about Kyle the easier it gets. Not always true in circumstances like this. I’m just sorry that I didn’t call them and tell them myself when it happened but I know my brain wasn’t working properly and when the fog started to lift it just seemed hard to remember who I had told and those I hadn’t. Maybe someday it will get easier but not right now. My heart is still broken in a million pieces. Not a minute of a day passes that I don’t think of Kyle. I go to sleep and wake up multiple times thinking of him. As a mother probably would checking on her newborn baby, I guess I can only relate my wakefulness periods during the night to my time spent with Kyle. I pray daily that others won’t have to experience this terrible emptiness. However it seems to happen even despite my prayers. I ask Kyle to always watch over us, to help guide us along our journey, and to give us the strength to get through each day. Please ask us about him! As painful as it might be, we both enjoy telling his story. As for my friend, I pray she can hug her now college age children more tightly and overlook the little things in life to focus on the true meaning of their gift of life and love.
Peace to all and hugs to my dear son, Kyle. My Z Boy!
Deb (ZBOYMOM)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mar
2018

Hop John

categories: bereaved, coping, Journey, loss, memories, poetry

Pam Ooten

Oh, my love, my precious son Hop John,
Life has changed since you’ve been gone.
If I could just hear your voice once more
Or for you to just walk in my front door,
Oh how I want to hold you in my arms,
To protect you from all the world’s harm.

There were so many things I had to say,
With every tear I cried from that very day.
I knew in my heart I had to let you go,
This was the worst time in my life I know.
I wish that I could have kept you here,
I feel your presence is always near.

I have tried my best to be strong,
But everything I do seems to go wrong.
The memories of you, I hold in my heart,
My precious son those will never depart!
Your blue eyes and your beautiful smile,
Made every day worth the while.

I look to Heaven and throw you a kiss,
To let you know that it’s you I truly miss.
I remember singing You are my Sunshine,
You are always that precious son of mine.
There’s nothing that will ever replace you,
For I know in my heart that is true.

I am waiting for that Reunion Day,
When I come home to Heaven to stay.
I am thankful to God for saving you,
My Lord and Savior saved me too.
I want you to know that I love you,
I know without a doubt you loved me to.

  

Jan
2018

Poetry from 2016

categories: bereaved, coping, Feelings, Journey

David Arnold

This is what I woke to spinning in my head this morning. It is about a group of mothers that have 1 thing in common the loss and bereavement of a child.

Yes there really is a group here in the surrounding area where these moms meet to help one another find a new path without their child in their life…..

The Listening Hearts

When a woman gives birth to a child her heart grows bigger in every way. As her children grows she prays everyday to keep them from harm in hopes that they will grow strong.

Then one day there comes a knock on the door, it’s the worst nightmare a mother can hear as she falls to the floor, she was given news that the child she did bore was found living no more.

Her heart gave out as she started to shout, what will I do, I can’t live without you?

As the days grew longer the nightmares got stronger and she found herself not wanting to live any longer.

Then along came a friend that said, “let me lend you a hand, I want you to meet other mothers like you that do not know what to do.”

These mothers they meet to find answers they seek, instead of the hand they find a new friend whose heart is broken just like them.

They listen with understanding and compassion to every word you are passing for they too, are hurting like you and are needing a new heart and asking, where do I start?

Listen, do you hear that beat?

It’s other mothers that are here now standing at your feet, and they greet you with kisses on the cheek. It is these other mothers who have lost their child’s hearts too and they now welcome you.

There is a bond that no one other than a mother of the Listening Hearts can hear as they tell you that you my dear are always welcomed here!

Listening Hearts where moms find others in a similar struggle, a bereaved heart that is missing a beat from losing a child.


May
2017

Surviving Mothers Day One Breath At A Time

categories: Addiction, bereaved, Guilt, holidays in grief

Mary Beth Cichocki

Mothers Day.  Those two words once brought happy memories of cards and flowers, crabs and beer. My family gathered together to celebrate motherhood.  Three generations laughing and loving. Sharing the memories of childhood, then teen years that became adult years  changing our families women into mothers. Every year we gathered together at my house.   A beautiful family tradition.  Grandmothers, Aunts, Mother in Law, sister, sons and daughter.  To celebrate family and love.  This year Mother’s Day grabs my heart and shatters it like glass.  Broken in too many pieces to ever be repaired.  Our family forever changed by addiction.  A beautiful family tradition now missing a very large presence.

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Dec
2015

A Toybox Heart at Christmas

categories: bereaved, Grief journey, heart

Tracy Bradshaw

This is the fourth Christmas that I’ve not put up a tree or decorated the house. I have only been shopping one time, and I’m okay with that. My heart just isn’t in the traditional family gift giving anymore. No doubt, the reason for that is because I don’t have a list for Sawyer with “Mommy, this is my Christmas list. Love, Sawyer.” Now, Sawyer was nineteen years old and called me mom, EXCEPT when he wanted something. “Mommy,” melted my heart, and he knew it. “Mommy” persuaded me to buy too many presents at Christmas, take way too many trips to Taco Bell, and even occasionally pay his rent. I miss those times when he could rely on me, and he went about it with such tender affection.

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Nov
2014

Another New Year

categories: bereaved, Feelings, holidays in grief, Journey
julie mcgregor

Julie McGregor

Originally published in Listening Hearts Newsletter Jan-Feb 2012

Another Christmas with all the activities had come and gone, and once again my husband Roy and I celebrated New Year’s Eve with good friends. We were in a room full of people, all happy and laughing, making their New Year resolutions.

I wondered what sad stories may be hiding behind some of the faces in the room, as people put on their mask once again, so the world doesn’t see their pain. I know for certain one friend at our table hides the deep pain of a son’s suicide, many years ago, in a time when such things were hushed up and rarely spoken of since. We only found out when we lost our son Joel, four and a half years ago, and then it was through the wife of his second marriage. We had known this friend for four years, and were shocked, and while we knew he felt our deep pain, sadly he still couldn’t bring himself to speak of it.

another new year collage of bereaved mother and son
another new year collage of bereaved mother and son

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