Hi, my name is Deb Moroney and I lost a son Kyle at age 23 on June 23, 2017. As many of you don’t know me, I’m originally from mid-state Illinois and attended nursing school in Springfield, Illinois. I graduated in 1985 and along with my then boyfriend, now husband, Roger, of almost 32 years, moved to Southern IL near Belleville actually living in Maryville, IL. I eventually took a job shortly before getting married in 1987 working at St. Louis University Hospital in St. Louis, MO. I finished a bachelor’s degree in nursing as well as my husband finishing with a Bachelor’s in physics in 1993. I was about 5 months pregnant with Kyle going to school and working full time. He arrived a month early on a Sunday, March 20, 1994 (Spring Day baby) weighing only 5lbs, 13 oz. He was so tiny but grew quickly and before he was 3, we decided to move to Fenton, MO to build a house and stop having to drive across bridges every day for work. Kyle so loved watching our house being built. I remember him picking out his room so vividly. Our house was finished just before Christmas and we all felt that this was the best Christmas present ever!
In 2001 we moved to Tennessee settling in Lenoir City and built our dream home. A timber frame home almost to the design we had sketched out on our honeymoon. Little did we know we would live in it for almost 16 years. This was Kyle’s home, our home. In April of 2017 we decided to move and did so to Sevierville after purchasing a 175-year-old plantation house that we hope to open as a Bed & Breakfast later this year. Having graduated from Saint Louis University Post Master’s program, I started a new job as a Nurse Practitioner with Humana in late May. As our luck would have it, we had only into the house just moved into the house a mere 5 weeks before, Kyle was tragically killed in a single car accident along with his passenger, a friend of his, on a mountain road that he so loved. I never would have dreamed that I would be on this journey at this point in my life, nor would I wish it upon anyone else.
As we know our own grief journey is personal even different from our spouse’s, we are required only to try and take a day or even a minute at a time to survive. I did take a chance to reach for help and called Mane Support, an equine therapy-based grief and loss therapy center located in Maryville. It was there working with horses and a counselor that I have been able to finally see me first and acknowledge my wants and needs before being asked to serve on the Board. As an Assistant Co- Chairman of the Board for Mane Support, we are working to maintain its true ministry and vision.
I recently started a new job last October, working for UT Palliative Care and absolutely love my job and my co-workers as well. I feel that Kyle guided me to that job for a reason which was to help others during a crisis at a most vulnerable point in their lives just as he would have helped anyone even a stranger he’d never met before.
This journey is far from over. Last May 2018, almost one year after the loss of Kyle, we lost our beloved Max, a 15 1/2-year-old Border Collie that grew up with Kyle after moving into our home in Lenoir City. We were completely devastated all over again by loss although in a different sense but all the same as it triggered so much for me regarding Kyle. It’s true I’ll never be the same person I once was but with time and much healing and prayers, I will continue to carry on my son’s light and keep his name and spirit alive.
Thank you for reading some of my postings or blogs. I write whatever comes from my heart at that particular time. It may be short while others are lengthy. I only hope that through my writings someone else may gain strength to know it’s okay to feel like this and that there is no true path in which we are required to follow. It’s each of our’s personal journey as it should be.
Peace and hugs,
Kyle’s Mom – Deb (ZBOYMOM)
