New Year’s Resolutions

As we enter a new year, some of us are new to our grief journeys, while others are more seasoned. Some of us will be experiencing our “firsts,” while others have experienced several years’ worth of firsts, seconds, and thirds. Regardless of where we are on this journey, we can all agree that it is a difficult road. Let us take time to take care of ourselves and resolve to grieve in our own way, at our own pace. Do any of these resolutions ring true for you?

  1. I will be honest with myself and others about how I feel.
  2. I will live in a way that my child would have wanted me to live.
  3. I will seek professional help if I think I need it.
  4. I will be open to happiness and joy in my life.
  5. I will release my guilt.
  6. I will give myself as much time as I need to mend my broken heart.
  7. I will be physically active to whatever degree I am able.
  8. I will allow myself to feel my feelings.
  9. I will make positive dietary choices.
  10. I will share my journey with other bereaved moms because it is in the sharing that healing comes.

treeHoliday Recap

12 Days of Giving

Thanks to everyone who participated in our 12 Days of Giving campaign. This annual fundraiser helps us with funds to meet our mission of providing a safe shelter for bereaved moms through programs and other outreach efforts. This year’s campaign ran from December 1-12.

Candle Lighting Ceremony

We honor our children’s memories during this annual event when moms, friends, and family light candles during a reading of names, representing the light of our children’s spirits.The evening, December 5, ended with a Silly Gift Exchange.

Remembrance Tree

Moms, friends, and family enjoyed musical performances and poetry readings during a tree lighting ceremony on December 13. Moms decorated the tree with personal or heart ornaments, in memory of their children. Those who were not able to attend the tree lighting, had the opportunity to stop by the Clinton Community Center to hang an ornament during the holiday season.

Did You Know?

Did you know about our online photo albums on our website? Each of our beautiful children can have their own page with photos that you would like to share. Just send up to 10 photos at a time tolisteningheartsmoms@gmail.comand then visit Our Children to view all albums. If you already have an album posted, you can send additional photos to be posted.

A Toybox Heart at Christmas

This is the fourth Christmas that I’ve not put up a tree or decorated the house. I have only been shopping one time, and I’m okay with that. My heart just isn’t in the traditional family gift giving anymore. No doubt, the reason for that is because I don’t have a list for Sawyer with “Mommy, this is my Christmas list. Love, Sawyer.” Now, Sawyer was nineteen years old and called me mom, EXCEPT when he wanted something. “Mommy” melted my heart, and he knew it. “Mommy” persuaded me to buy too many presents at Christmas, take way too many trips to Taco Bell, and even occasionally pay his rent. I miss those times when he could rely on me, and he went about it with such tender affection.

This year, I decided to make gifts in an effort to share some of Sawyer’s things. (It has only taken four years!) I wanted to make a denim quilt using his jeans, but I ran out of time, crocheting a baby blanket that took a lot longer than I thought it would. The quilt didn’t even get started.

I purchased a lamp and used Sawyer’s Legos to build around the base and up. I even left a hole for the wire to go through. I built a pencil holder for his Grandpa’s desk and a key holder for his Grandma and Grandpa to hang on the wall. Sawyer loved to build with Legos and K’nex.Touching his blocks was bittersweet. His little hands put together and took apart his Lego creations, time and time again. Hours were spent constructing elaborate things such as a wired robot that could move when he used his controller, a roller coaster that filled the room and worked even taking the tiny riders upside down in a complete circle, and a pinball machine that you could actually play. I certainly miss those days of fun, excitement, games, and “Mommy.”

Today, as I was rummaging through his toybox, looking for more Legos, I found a heart-shaped rock.I remember that particular rock. We discussed the hart shape and how special it was. I have the faintest memory of giving it to him, and I’m hoping more of that event will return to me. He must have believed in hearts to, because 18-20 years later, I find that he has kept it! I am smiling a little inside, knowing that he kept that heart rock, a solid and lasting symbol of love from “Mommy.” What a gift I found on this day! A toybox heart at Christmas calms my soul and lifts my spirit. I love my boy, Sawyer, who kept a heart rock all those years in his toybox.

–Tracy Bradshaw